Safe beneath
by Ann Smiley
Summary: Besides the memory stamp, the people of P3R-118 had another way to control their workforce. AU of the S4 episode "Beneath the surface". Kidfic. Gen, but with mention of past Jack/Sara.


1500 words, gen with mentions of past Jack/Sara

A/N: Written for a challenge at the littlestargate Yathoo!-list where you had to re-write an episode with at least one of the team "littled". Crossposted to LJ and dw where my pen-name is less_star.

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Safe beneath  
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"Do you want to come with me?" Kegan tilts her head. She's older, taller. Tendrils of her curly hair always escape her hairband. The older kids don't often let him join them. He's small and there's something wrong with his eyes. Things look fuzzy, sometimes.

"Where are you going?" Dad told him to stay close. But they also have to keep away from the machines and the other workers. They're supposed to be cleaning tools but the work is already done. Mostly.

"I'm going far away" Kegan calls over her shoulder. Karlan runs after her. He doesn't want to be left alone and he's curious to see what Far Away looks like. He's never been there, not that he can remember, anyway.

Karlan and Dad came here from the mines, a little while ago.

"You're not going Outside, are you?" Outside is dangerous, all ice and cold. No-one can survive there.

Kegan snorts. "You can't go Outside. Everyone knows that."

Memories in the plant are easily broken, Karlan thinks. When you look at them too closely they turn to dust, all grey. He gets images in his head sometimes. Lots and lots of papers, arranged together. He sits at a desk, looking down at them. But when he tries to see them clearly the papers are blank. People think they remember sometimes. If it's the wrong thing, you get night-sick. Everyone knows that.

Kegan knows how to keep away from grown-ups. They walk quietly in dark passages, the noises from the plant more and more distant. They come to a part of the plant that Karlan's never seen before. The machines are quiet. They scare him, make him think of big animals, asleep.

Karlan's never seen an animal of any sort in the plant. They are in his dreams, though. One is small, grey and wants to sleep on his chest. And a larger, noisier one that likes to run.

"Do you know any animals? Small, warm things that move on their own but can't talk?"

Kegan's busy climbing one of the sleeping machines. She looks down at him and frowns.

"I don't think so. Only…maybe one that's big, so big it can take you places. Why?"

Karlan doesn't know why. He wonders about things all the time, he can't help it. Kegan will think he's just a stupid kid.

He shrugs "Dunno."

"It's probably just from stories. Things that were Outside before the ice."

"Ice-age" Karlan corrects her but she's not listening, climbing higher on the machine until she's reached far enough to be a blur to Karlan's weak, stupid eyes. He wants to call to her to come down, but sits on the floor to wait instead.

When Kegan's tired of climbing she comes to sit beside him, shoulder to shoulder, their backs against one of the machines. Kegan has a piece of bread in her pocket and she shares it with him.

"I wonder why no-one works here anymore." The machines look about the same as the ones Dad work with. Maybe they broke. "I wonder which way the mines are. I don't remember walking here." Karlan likes to sit here, look at the quiet machines and think and wonder.

That's when he notices that Kegan's not eating any longer. She doesn't look like she's listening, either.

"Dad got night-sick" Kegan says suddenly. " They took him away. He was gone for a day and a night. He…he didn't remember me when he came back."

Her words make Karlan feel all cold inside. Kegan's dad is the strongest man in the plant, stronger than Dad, even. If he can get night-sick anyone can. Karlan can see him, broad-shouldered, dark like his daughter, looking at his little girl like she's a stranger. And then his mind shifts the picture, and instead it's his dad, looking at him in the same way. The thought makes it hurt to breathe. Karlan swallows the piece of bread he's bitten off. His throat feels tight and it tastes worse than usual.

"Does he remember you now?"

Kegan nods. She's sitting with her shoulders slumped, her piece of bread forgotten. Karlan takes her hand without thinking. She feels warm.

"You're OK, for a kid." She gives his hand a little squeeze and lets it go. "I wanna climb the big one, over there." She's up before Karlan can tell her he's not that much younger that her. He doesn't really know how old he is, of course, but neither does she.

It turns out Far Away has many sleeping machines but parts of it are very dark. Karlan is relieved when Kegan decides it's time to go back. He didn't even have to tell her he was scared.

SsSsS

They come back to something of a commotion. He can see Dad, and Kegan's father. Supervisor's there, too and she sounds upset.

"Karlan!" Dad's voice is angry. What if his dad thinks he's been bad and decides to forget him? But then Dad picks him up.

Looking over Dad's shoulder Karlan sees Kegan in her father's arms. She's running her fingers over the strange, golden mark on his forehead, again and again.

"Your absence worried me" Karlan hears him say. His voice is stern but she just smiles.

"You remembered me!"

Her father turns to carry her to their sleeping quarters but Karlan can hear his answer. "Indeed I remember you. You are my little girl."

Karlan waves to Kegan but she doesn't see. He hopes she'll play with him again tomorrow.

Dad sets Karlan down and looks straight into his eyes, all serious. "Someone came to pick up their tools and you were gone, Cha…Karlan." Dad gives Supervisor a look but she didn't hear. No-one can hear Dad's secret name for him. Charlie. "I had to leave my station to go looking for you."

"I'm sorry. I forgot. I just wanted to see what Far Away looked like."

Dad smiles a little. "Yeah? Let's see if we can find some dinner and you can tell me about it, huh?"

And something tight in Karlan's chest lets go a little. Because Dad remembered him, even if he was bad.

sSsSs

Karlan's tired after dinner. They sit on his bed, Karlan in Dad's lap. He tells Dad about Far away, all the sleeping machines that Kegan climbed. He tries to keep talking, even if he wants to sleep. He's afraid he'll dream tonight.

In his dreams…He sees things that scare him, things that make him sad. Dad is often there, and Kegan's father. They wear strange-looking clothes. He's never told anyone, not even Dad. He could be night-sick and they could take him away and he'd forget Dad and then he would be alone.

Sometimes, there's a lady in his dreams. He never really knows what she looks like, but she's laughing, smiling at him. When he's dreamt of her, it hurts inside his chest when he wakes up. He thinks she might be his mom, and he wishes he'd get a good look at her, just once. Even if it's only in a dream and even if it means he's night-sick.

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Where's mommy?" Dad goes very still, Karlan can feel it, even with his back to Dad's chest. He doesn't ask Dad about her, anymore. The look in Dad's eyes whenever he talked about Mom before made Karlan think that the memory of her makes it hurt inside Dad, too.

"Your mom had to go away." Dad sounds a little unsure and he closes his eyes.

"There was an accident…you were hurt." Dad tightens his hold on Karlan. "I didn't think…You know you're not supposed to touch...uh, dangerous things, right? Not ever." Karlan nods. Dad has told him many times.

"She, she left a note. On paper." Dad sounds more certain, now, but Karlan still wonders. None of the workers have access to pen and paper. He's seen it, looking through the window to Supervisor's office, but he's never touched it. Had Mom been a supervisor? He tries to picture Dad with a lady in a clean red uniform, but it looks wrong. He twists a little to look at Dad.

"What did Mommy look like?" Dad looks into the distance for a long time and Karlan is about to remind him of the question when he swallows and speaks, his voice low and rough.

"She…she looked…You know Thera? Always talks about uh, pressure regulation and stuff." Karlan nods. Thera is nice. She likes to explain things. "Well you mom looked a little like her."

"Her eyes looked like yours, sort of. But her hair was like Thera's." Dad gestures towards his own, grey hair. "Short and uh…light, um…"

"Like daylight." Karlan says and then he yawns, big. Dad laughs a little and buries his nose in Karlan's hair.

"Yeah, just like daylight."

They go to sleep and neither of them says anything about the fact that they've never seen the sun. Winter came generations ago.

Karlan dreams of his mother. Her image is a blur, but in his dream, he thinks her laugh sounds like daylight, too.

End


End file.
